On the upside, it’s only 105 days until I’m done

And I’ll have enough to blog about seeing as:

• My birthday is on Monday and I’m going to be throwing an awesomely fruity party.
• I’m going on a road trip with my friends in June
• I’m meeting people from 30BaD
• Guest posts from fellow frugivores are being written as we speak…
• I’m finally going to get my raw journey on this blog (!)

And there are probably a million other things I’ll be doing – but I need to do them in order to blog about them, hence the break.

So I leave you with these parting gifts – some of the things I’ve been up to these days in pictures…

I met a real banana (yes, she’s eating an apple!)

Found out I actually have a very fruity school

I learned that carrots grow on trees

First blood orange ever! Tasted like berries

Turned this…

… into this – citrus every day, every meal!

Does that say WHOLE FOODS?

Yes it does!

Package from Portland <3

Thanks Kelly, I absolutely loved it

I’ll probably leave the blog open for another week or so, then I’m closing it so that I can add/remove/edit so that it’s all bright & shiny for it’s “grand opening” after graduation.

See you around, folks. It’s been a pleasure

Love,

Tina

It seems like ages since I’ve blogged (and it seems like ages till I’ll be able to again!). My exam week starts on Monday and these are the important ones: it all counts towards my diploma (well at least, that’s what the teachers have been repeating 100x times per day).

And you know how I hate half-assing things, soooo I thought up of an idea to keep you entertained (and informed) until I can write about my own raw journey.

I’ve been asking some people I’ve met through different raw networking sites to write a bit about their experiences from their point of view. After reading all of these stories, you’ll be able to see how different people came to choose this lifestyle.

I hope you guys enjoy this series

The first one is from Michele Martinez, who I know from Raw Natural Hygiene.

The lovely Michele

—————————————————————–

I read the book Fit for Life back when I was a teenager in high school in the 80’s. I started eating fruit for breakfast every  day and sometimes the whole day. They recommended “living food days” and I remember I went on raw foods for a whole week and felt GREAT!
Unfortunately, they didn’t advocate 100% raw all the time and the idea just didn’t come up into my mind. I became a vegetarian when I was 17 because I’ve never been a big meat eater. However, it was really difficult for me to give up dairy. I was totally addicted to wheat and dairy.

As a consequence, when I was 29 years old I got the worst stabbing pain in my left side of my abdomen. I’ve never been diagnosed, but the symptoms are what has been described as endometriosis. It gradually got worse and the pain came, not only during “that time of the month” but several times during the month.
I was teaching spinning classes at 24-hour fitness and running 6 miles a day. Cardio exercise got to be extremely painful and I had to stop. I remember running the Wharf to Wharf race in Santa Cruz, Calif, and I was in excruciating pain for the whole next day. I thought “I’m too young for this.”

I knew other women who had had hysterectomy’s to remove the endometriosis and even laser treatment, but it often came back. So I knew I needed to get back to the root cause of what created the endometriosis in the first place. I remember in the book Fit for Life that they had talked about Natural Hygiene and living in harmony with Nature’s Laws and how the body can heal itself if given the right conditions.

I started researching and found Dr. McDougall’s book for women after reading his other book for weight loss. He advocated a low-fat cooked vegan diet. Giving up dairy and fat was really hard for me, but the pain gave me no choice. I noticed big improvements, but it was not 100%.
I still noticed some symptoms eating a low-fat cooked vegan diet and didn’t feel completely great. I found Dr. Doug Graham’s book The 80/10/10 Diet and it made so much sense to me and I remembered that week I had had eating 100% raw.

I tried eating his way, but didn’t know what I was doing and failed miserably. I tried eating high-fat raw gourmet food and it, too, didn’t work.
After going back to vegan cooked, I found a support forum where other’s were trying to eat the 811 diet and that’s when things really took off. I was able to go 100%.
My digestion is the best it’s ever been. I’ve had a lifelong problem with constipation, but not on this way of eating! People often talk about using enemas and colonics to heal and I wonder what’s left in the colon to clean out when eating that much live food?

High water content food and low-fat is totally healing to the body. I’ve done a couple of water fasts and both times I felt great. I think fasting is a way better healing modality than pharmaceutical drugs or surgery.
Today, I am back to running and am training for a marathon. I feel so much better. The pain is not completely gone, but there are some months when it almost is.
At almost 41 years of age, I have way more energy than most people and they think I am younger than I am. I feel very empowered eating according to Natural Hygiene principals and know that if I give my body enough sleep, exercise and low-fat raw vegan food that it will take care of itself and I will thrive well into my golden years.

 
I do not feel deprived. I am looking forward to learning Permaculture so that I can bring more fruit to this earth and humankind. There are so many varieties of fruit that people don’t even know about because they are not sold in stores. This is sad since fruit is such a perfect food for humans. Even my cats love fruit!

———————————————————-

Though it’s not part of her guest post, I wanted to add this little video she posted. It’s about getting back on track in the New Year, since many of us have set certain goals. It’s inevitable to hit a few bumps in the road and if things aren’t going exactly as you planned, then this is the video to watch: it will raise your spirits.

And if any of you are interested (or curious) about raw (or natural hygiene) and people who lead a raw life, you can check out Michele’s site: Raw Natural Hygiene. It’s a wonderful place to ask advice about adding more raw food into your diet and it doesn’t matter what stage you are at: vegetarian, vegan, high-raw etc, everyone there is open-minded, kind and helpful.

Next raw story will follow soon, don’t forget to leave a message and tell me what you thought

Love,

Tina

So, I thought I might give you a little heads up: I’m not going to be posting very often the next 2 weeks, I need to prepare for my exams. I hope you can understand.

However, this doesn’t mean I wont be posting at all. Actually, I’m preparing a few posts you might like.

I promise I’ll sneak in a few minutes to blog every now and then. Perhaps I’ll even have some time to comment, but school first… for now.

But in 135 days, I’M DONE!!! (Counting down the days is the only thing that keeps me sane).

Sending my love to the blogosphere xx

And I’m also very happy about one (worried) commenter, who replied to the last post. Yes, I said I’m happy about it. Jenna, it’s awesome of you to post a comment listing your worries about this “diet”. I encourage all people who feel that this is a bit dodgy to post a comment telling me what it is that worries them. It’s not strange to think this is weird, it’s very natural!

As I said in the beginning of the last post, this is something you do not hear much about and most people haven’t seen a fruit eater in their life, so you have no experience to base your knowledge on (thank god for the internet, right?).

So Jenna, here me out, doll. I will not ignore you, bash you or hate on you in any other way – I think it’s very cool of you to list your problems with the diet. This way it encourages me to think about problems I might encounter, as well as worries others may have and questions some may want answered.

First of all, you spoke of a woman your mother knew who was a fruitarian. Though I think that many things get over exaggerated in the process of communication, I will assume that everything you say is correct about that woman.

1. You say she needed to eat constantly to feel energized. The reason for this is that she probably didn’t eat enough fruit. I here this all the time from LFRV people – ‘YOU HAVE TO EAT MORE!’

If you need to eat every 1-2 hours, you should eat bigger meals! Trust me on this one. When I started out I ate a banana smoothie for breakfast, an apple for lunch, some veggies for a snack and a salad for dinner. I didn’t feel that great, actually I felt 100x better when I ate a big sandwich. Big surprise… I never got more than 600cals a day.

If one is looking to go 100% LFRV, they should be eating an equivalent of 20 bananas a day (so it could be other fruit, but just so you get an idea). So let’s say 2000 calories and this is for a WOMAN who is NOT ACTIVE.

• You used the word fruitarian and maybe you’ve noticed my “subtitle” but it says frugivore. When I first saw these words, I never stopped to think that there could be a difference, but there is. A fruitarian eats exclusively fruit and a frugivore eats fruit and supplements it with greens and nuts.  
• I cannot strain the importance of greens enough! Like I showed in the last post, kale is king! As are other leafy greens, they supply you with your micronutrients (calcium, zinc, iron, iodine and all the rest). If you ignore them, you’ve got a problem. Many LFRV’s recommend a lbs a day (which is about 500gr).

• (1) The high sugar fear is unfounded when speaking of fruit. Try putting a tablespoon of white sugar in your mouth… Yeah, not tasty and not very good for you. But eat an apple (or two!) and no problem. High sugar is a problem, I agree, but this concerns processed sugar. Fruit is nothing to be feared. A reliable to prove this is using the Glycemic Index/ Glycemic load. While the Glycemic Index (GI) might sound familiar to you, Glycemic Load may be new, but I’ll explain.
  • The Glycemic load is a system that uses the Glycemic index to calculate to what extent a food elevates blood glucose. So for example foods like watermelon which would be considered too sugary in a GI-diet, are proven to have less impact on our blood sugar than for example sweet potatoes.
  • Actually, when you use this method, you see that seemingly non-sweet cooked foods (such as white rice, baguettes and spaghetti) elevate our blood sugar more than fruits.
  • And of course, I’m speaking of fresh fruits – dried fruits are a whole other story. If you don’t watch out with those raisins/dates/dried pineapples – be prepared for a sugar rush.

• (2) Eat 10 bananas and tell me your not satiated No really, the point is you need more volume/quantity than you do on a regular diet. The thing is that you have to keep in mind that all these fresh foods have all there wonderful water content intact! So half of what you are eating is water. This means you’ll leave the table hydrated and satisfied. (Not to mention you won’t need dessert, cause you just had it for breakfast, lunch and dinner!)

• (3) As for the tooth issue: few (dare I say no) dentists come across people who’s dental problems stem from eating too much fruit. Usually there’s a bit more to it than that.
  • As I mentioned before: not enough greens = not enough calcium, which is vital for your teeth.
  • Dried fruits, nuts and refined sugars are the culprit. Ever noticed all the leftovers stuck in your mouth after eating a hand of trail mix. I don’t know about you, but when I eat dried fruits and nuts all my teeth are covered in that stuff and I have to brush them to get it out. I don’t know if you are familiar with the concept of alkaline and acid foods (ask me if you need more info) but nuts are acid (very counterintuitive – they don’t taste acid, but they have an acid effect on your body). So when the bacteria in your mouth try and break down these leftovers, they produce an acidic metabolic waste product which damages your enamel.
  • Of course, sucking on lemons all day won’t do your enamel good. But then again, who wants to do that?

If you have more doubts please mail/comment again (this goes for everyone!)

Going on the the weight loss and amenorrhea problem.

I do know what amenorrhea is and actually I lost my period for a whole year while still eating cooked food! That is why I’m 100% sure that eating raw will not be the reason for people getting amenorrhea. It has to do with become underweight – if you lose too much weight, you will lose your period.  I got my period back when I gained weight and ate more fruit.

So I have to ask you, in a non-judgmental way (trust me), can you honestly say that you were eating enough?  How many calories a day were you eating?

If you asked me, when I first started eating this way, if I was eating enough, I would have told you “yes” without a second thought. But I was eating no more than 600 calories a day. It felt like enough, because with respect to volume it was the same amount that I ate when I was eating cooked food, but it was no where near enough food.

And why do you say that it would only be fit for hunters & gatherers? First of all, we haven’t changed biologically/physiologically from then. For some reason people think we’ve evolved a whole lot in the last 10,000 years, but we’re still the same homo sapiens we were then. And secondly, wouldn’t it be more logical to argue that they needed more? After all, they were more active; needed more energy.

I don’t think it’s fair to use their short life span as an argument (which was probably closer to 30 than 19) because this is intertwined with so much more than food. For example in Mozambique and Swaziland the life expectancy is around 40 years. And this is in our time. The reason is poverty, overexertion and starvation. This could easily have applied for hunters & gatherers seeing as they weren’t always certain they would be fed and they had to work very hard. Add to that the fact that there was no such thing as medicine or help in case of accidents and it’s pretty understandable that they didn’t live that long. Also remember that these are all averages, just because the average is 30 or 40, doesn’t mean that some more lucky, more healthy individuals didn’t live longer.

We have food and lots of it! We don’t need to worry about scarcity and we have health care and a warm place to sleep, I think this plays a big role.

If we evolve further, say, change into this guy:

Apparently this is our evolutionary future – let’s hope not…

Then maybe we should reconsider the diet (or food as a whole… and mirrors, cause damn…)

I really thought it was wise of you to mention that I should listen to my body – because that is exactly what I didn’t do before. I was looking for a quick (energy) fix with coffee, faster metabolism with some pills, easier digestion with some crazy teas – all things to avoid this method. But since I’ve tried out this way of eating, I feel better, I look better and I perform better. For me, listening to my body means eating more fruit.

I really, honestly want to thank you for your comment. It means a lot to me that you care and that you want me to be careful and I will be.

To reassure you a little bit more, I’m going to post my blood tests results that I took in December and I’ll post the new ones that I get done in February (so after two months of 100% LFRV) so that I can compare.

And it is my solemn oath that I will not follow this way of eating with dogmatic fanaticism. Being a fanatic is something I hate. I want to know the truth. I want to observe this like a scientist. If it works, it works. If it doesn’t, it doesn’t. So I’ll keep you posted.

Now onto the “essence” of low fat raw veganism: the low fat part.

Why low fat?

Do you know the feeling in your stomach when you eat a handful of nuts? …

Need I say more?

Well, I’m sure that most of us know that some foods leave you more full than others. Usually these are high-fat meals. More full really means more difficult to digest. Too much fat can be taxing on the liver. Many “sugar” problems actually stem from eating too much fat as oppose to too much sugar, which is commonly thought. One thing you’ll see often in diabetics is that they are tired all the time. Doesn’t this seem weird as they are supposed to have too much sugar in their bloodstream? Well, the problem is that the sugar doesn’t get into the cells, so it’s never metabolized.

Many health experts say we minimize our fat intake.

But with the 80/10/10 ratio it doesn’t mean no fat at all. It means that 10% of your calories is from fat. So say you are eating 2000 calories a day, 200 calories come from fat.

But to leave the science behind us and go back to the feeling part of this: it FEELS so much better. You no longer feel like you need a nap after dinner, your no longer too full and you can eat so much more.

And let me emphasize that last thing a little more: YOU CAN EAT SOOOOO MUCH MORE THAN YOU THINK!

I know for a fact (some of) you have thought this before:

Wouldn’t it be awesome if I could just eat as much as I want and not have to worry about it?

My idea of heaven used to be a place where you could eat tonnes and never be sick, gain weight or have health problems (don’t worry this was only 1 of the perks in my idea of heaven – I’m very creative in the imaginary department, will write more about it another time).

The great news is I don’t depend on the the potential existence of a heaven after death now – cause I can  eat all that I want now and not worry.

………………………

Another aspect of LFRV is that it’s not gourmet…

Daily pizzas, not part of a healthy diet, raw or otherwise

Why you shouldn’t base your diet on gourmet raw

If you think you can go raw and change your diet by simply eating raw cakes and raw pizza, you’ve got another thing coming. First of all the health aspect of it; most people get into raw foods for the sake of their health, but living on raw gourmet is far from healthy. Many raw foodies eat to much fat, sometimes up to 60% of their diet consists of fat! This is even more fat than in the SAD (Standard American Diet) and definitely more fat than is healthy. The reason I am against this is not because of some irrational fat phobia, but because of the simple fact that too much fat puts strain on your body: it’s difficult to digest. Many gourmet raw dishes are based on nuts, seeds and oils and these are very heavy. Raw foodies and non-raw foodies alike often find raw cakes and cheeses quite heavy. There’s no need to do intensive research to understand it, just think about it: how many nuts can you eat before you get a belly ache? Exactly; not that many.

The second reason I don’t advise basing your diet on raw gourmet dishes is that it takes time and money. Google any random raw cookie recipe and it will tell you that you need about 3 different types of nuts, some carrot pulp, spices, dates, raisins and some more stuff. I don’t know about you, but recipes with too many ingredients and instructions make me dizzy. On top of that, you often have to dehydrate raw cookies and crackers and not many people are prepared to lay down 500 bucks for a machine that’s going to take more than 8 hours to make you cookies and crackers. Eating out everyday might cut the time issue, but it’s not very nice for your wallet. On top of that, not everyone is lucky enough to live in New York or L.A., so you might perceive a lack of raw restaurants in your area. For example, the nearest raw restaurant for me is 100 kilometres away and that is not a distance I’m willing to travel to get me some dinner.

……………………………..

No need to spend all your hard-earned money on “superfoods”

For some reason this is what many raw foodists say you need. But honestly, do you think that buying some dried berry  from the Himalayas or seaweed from Ireland will help you? Funny thing too, they seem to be pretty darn expensive (source of income to those who claim we need them perhaps?) A reason to trust people who advise fruit & veg, is that they cannot make money off of you. After all, fruit isn’t exactly a lucrative business.

But to put it very simply should think of superfoods as accessories. They shouldn’t make up the bulk of your wardrobe and they shouldn’t be your priority. Imagine you have no clothes; the first thing you’ll think about won’t be “I should get a nice necklace” or “I think I need a pair of gloves.” No, the first thing you’ll are some pants and a shirt, then you might add a nice scarf or some earrings. Well, fruits and vegetables are your pants and shirt! Nuts, seeds and avocadoes are your shoes and anything else is just for decoration. Some people say accessories are the finishing touch to their outfit; others are absolutely fine without accessories. But NO ONE can do without the base! So in plain un-metaphorical English: make sure you get enough fruits and vegetables and then if you feel you need it or want it and have enough money you can go for superfoods.

To summarize the ups of Low Fat Raw Vegan food:

• Easy (minimal to no prep)
• No superfoods necessary, so cheap (forget the raw cacao..)
• Juicy and sweet – dessert all the time!
• All you can eat – no strings attached
• Great energy
• No belly aches
• Clear skin
• Happy
• And I’m probably missing a few, but these are IMO the most important

Next post will be about my journey and the other people who are living this lifestyle…

Love,

Tina

1. Vegetarian
2. Vegan
3. Macrobiotic
4. Raw

and then the little weird kid: Low Fat Raw Vegan.  

As I promised I’m going to explain what this is. I tried to make a list of all the things I’d need to include in the post in order for it to be complete and I realised that this would be a MONSTER SIZED POST if I tried to write it all at once. Therefore, I’ve decided to split it up into a couple of  short comprehendible posts and this post is going to be a sort of introduction on what “Low fat Raw Veganism” is.  

Low fat raw vegan, 811, High fruit are some of the names this diet goes by.  

It basically means you base your diet on fruits & vegetables, with the occasional nuts and avocadoes.  

A day in the life of a low fat raw vegan could be:  

• Breakfast: Green Smoothie (4 medium bananas + spinach)
• Morning Snack: 1 apple
• Lunch: Fruit Salad (1 mango/20 strawberries) + 2 stalks of celery
• Afternoon Snack: 1/2 a cucumber + 1 medium carrot
• Dinner:  Green Smoothie (2 bananas + spinach) + Salad (1 head of lettuce/1 cucumber/ 5 apricots)
• Evening Snack: 5 fresh dates

Or:  

• Breakfast: Banana – Mango Smoothie ( 5 bananas + 1 mango)
• Lunch: 10 tangerines
• Pre-dinner: 4 kiwis
• Dinner: Salad (1 head of lettuce/1 cup of pineapple/1 kiwi)

But you get the gist of it: it’s fruity.  

The biggest fear people have when they hear about this diet is where they will get their nutrients from. I’ll spare you the scare and tell you immediately that it is possible to get all your nutrients from fruits and vegetables.  

There are 3 macronutrients: carbohydrate, protein & fat.  

And you’ll probably be surprised to find out that fruits & vegetables have ALL THREE present in them (I know I needed to read that little fact twice).  

For example a banana’s nutritional breakdown:  

Bananas FTW

And for 100g of kale:  

Kale: protein deficiency fear begone!

As for micronutrients we know we need to eat fruit for our vitamin C and all other vitamins can be found in fruits and vegetables. Minerals are basically the same story; kale has an amazing amount of bio-available calcium and so does citrus! And dates are great sources of iron – how sweet is that? (pun intended).  

From the charts above, you can probably already gather that when you eat mostly fruits and vegetables you’ll end up with a calorie distribution which is mostly carbohydrates and with a small part of protein and fat.  

Dr. Douglas N. Graham, author of the book The 80/10/10 Diet, advises a calorie distribution of at least 80% carbs and less than 10% of fat. He is also the one who coined the term 80/10/10 (811).  

Great book.

So if you’re wondering why all the emphasis on carbohydrates, think of other diets. For example the Italian one. Their meals are based on carbs: a pizza base with different toppings, pasta with different sauces, bread with salads. Also the macrobiotic diet puts a lot of emphasis on carbs, only there the carbs come from grains. And think back to your meals: if you were to go to a restaurant and they served you steak, tofu or some mock meat and you didn’t get some kind of starch (potatoes, rice, bread) on the side, wouldn’t you feel there was something missing? But on the other side, you could easily eat a plate of tabouléh or spaghetti without questioning it.  

Without carbohydrates we don’t function properly and anyone who’s been on a low-carb diet can testify to that!  

Fruits are just sweet, palpable carbohydrates that do not need to be processed in order to be consumed, as oppose to grains which need to be cooked.  

I need to get back to exam practice now, so I’ll leave you with a few snapshots into the eats of a Low Fat Raw Vegan life:  

IMPORTANT: If you feel I’ve left anything out, or you’d like to know something else about what this way of eating entails PLEASE don’t hesitate to leave a comment or shoot me a mail. 

Next post, I’ll explain why people are so hyped up about eating this way. 

Love,  

Tina

And sweet little Vanilla who gave me this award:

Merci, chèrie!

Rules:

1. List 10 things that make you happy
2. Try to do at least one of them today
3. Tag 10 bloggers that brighten your day.

Ten things that make me happy…:

1. Readers who mail me or leave a comment: It makes me feel wonderful to know that someone is reading my blog! I love answering all your questions, reading all your sweet remarks and cheering up after you leave me with comforting words.
2. Going to bed early: Need more of it! (I think this is one of the things I’ll try to do today).
3. Sending/receiving packages: I still remember my first international package. I went crazy when I got it and it made me so happy. I also have fond thoughts on seeing the package I sent Janetha on her blog; it was amazing to know that my gift was making someone happy on the other side of the world!
4. Learning: Being a nerd at heart, my favourite programs include the Discovery Channel and National Geographic (nothing like learning while your watching TV). Talk to me about quantum physics, the Ancient Egyptians, psychology and (of course) health and I’m all ears!
5. Travelling: It’s in my title and it’s there for a reason. I love to see new people, go to new places, experience new things! I don’t think anything else raises my heart rate quite like travelling.
6. Music: When I’m behind my piano, making music, I’m happy. Music is pure bliss. I’m going to be singing a lot more this year (the school’s stage won’t be safe while I’m still around!).
7. Playing with my food: Me is foodie – need I say more?
8. Helping people: Preferably by entertaining them I love being goofy and making people laugh, which is sometimes exactly what they need. But, when I can, I also like to teach people things. The feeling someone has when they FINALLY understand something is priceless. And if you ever need to talk to someone, I’m your woman, tell me your woes and I’ll do what I can to help out, that’s what I love to do.
9. Buying stuff: I’m not even going to specify any more than that. I love buying everything! Not just clothes or food, kitchen appliances, souvenirs, books – you name it, I want it!
10. Laughing: (Agreeing with Vanilla here) I love laughing. There’s nothing like rolling over from laughter after watching a comedy or doing something stupid with your friends. Laughter is magic, it can turn your frown upside down like no other thing!

And the 10 people getting the award from me are:

1. Maria from Going Down Swinging: An RSD Blog
2. Neela from Crazy Little Thing Called Life
3. Stef from More to Life than Lettuce
4. Sarah from Living the Fruity Life
5. Kelly from Byte Size
6. Karin from Give Me Bananas
7. Kathleen from Chez Pamplemousse
8. Jess from Have Faith
9. Shannonmarie from Rawdorable
10. Marjorie from Raw Green Mama
11. Janetha from Meals & Moves (I know it says 10, but it’s my party and I’ll make it 11 if I want too )

Onto other things…

I’m currently working on the low fat raw-explanation post, but it’s a pretty big one, so I’m posting it tomorrow. I’d love to be posting things one after the other, but I’ve been short on time lately, so I’m asking you to bear with me for a while. Exams are coming up, homework is accumulating and sleep is becoming a sporadic activity. So I’d like to apologize for not reading/commenting/posting as much as I should be, but I’m asking you to bear with me for a couple of weeks until it gets better. In the meantime, my excuse is going to be a self-diagnosed depression I’m going through due to the fact that my bike was stolen!

I miss you, baby! Come back! *cries*

Sometimes stuff starts piling up and you get really down. My biggest problem now is school. I get really stressed and sometimes I just want to quit everything all together. We all have days when it all seems like too much, but this girl definitely doesn’t have it easy and she knows like no other that you sometimes have to grin and bear it.

I really wanted to share this vlog with you. It really helped me out. I felt like I was never going to catch up with my homework and I was going to fail at school, but when I saw this video it motivated me to break it down into small bits and just keep going. So thank you, Maria!

Love,

Tina

P.S. You might have noticed that I’ve started with the blog reconstruction… So, what do you think?

P.P.S. This of course also means that I’ll be changing a lot of the pages in the near future, seeing as some things are outdated.

I felt a little nervous when I published my last post. It’s not everyday you share your innermost issues with the world. I can’t tell you how comforting it was to read your comments! I even got some responses from people I didn’t necessarily expect to read my blog! It was difficult to open up, but it was also liberating. As silly as it sounds, now that it’s out there, I’m going to feel free to post what’s on my mind more often.

Since I received such a positive response to this post, I think I’ll be adding it to the about section in the near future

And speaking of adding things to my blog, I’m going to put this site through a(nother) major construction period! But this time I’m going to keep on posting. It’s very tempting to take “a break” and re-do the blog, but I want to keep on posting while changing it.

Now onto the post!

I’m going to tell you a bit about what I’ve been up  to in the Christmas break:

Ooooh, aaah

I’ve been using my new spiralizer very often! Which is a bit of a cheap knock-off of the spirooli. And trust me when I say, you have no idea how cheap it looks (will take a picture to show you next time), but as you see in the picture above, it works.

I’ve also been searching for the perfect Christmas beverage and I think I’ve come up with something!

Can you tell what it is?

I can give you a hint, it sweet, frothy, milky and uhm… datey!

It’s so good in fact, that I thought I’d share the recipe with you

So here it is:

Wintery Date Latte

You’ll need:

• a blender
• Almond Milk (I’ve linked a Almond recipe from before, you can also use other nuts/seeds, I used pumpkin seeds)
• 4-6 medjool dates (depending on how sweet you like it) *

1. Make almond milk. (Remember to strain the milk and put away the pulp.)
2. OPTIONAL: Warm up the milk just a little bit (until it feels warm, not hot!, to your finger)
3. Pour the milk back into the blender.
4. De-pit the dates.
5. Throw the dates into the blender.
6. Blend, pour into your favourite mug and enjoy

Finger lickin’ good!

While enjoying this tasty treat, I was also thinking about the future and more specifically the goals I’d like to accomplish. Since I’m taking a gap year, I want to make the most of it, so I’ve been thinking about the things I want to do within the first half year (so basically July to December of 2010) and these are the goals I’ve set for myself:

Within a year I want to:

• Visit (INCLUDING THE NATIONAL LIBRARIES!!!)
  • Sofia
  • Istanbul
  • Bucharest
  • Paris
  • London
• Blog:
  • Daily (op. twitter)
  • Write about dietary habits
  • Write about Culture
  • Write LOTS about Fruit
• Apply to Cambridge
• Read 4 classic novels
• Read about 4 books about anthropology
• Learn about 10 famous anthropologists
• Take/Start a short course in biology
• Run 5 kilometres
• Join Couchsurfing.org
• Have at least 1 WOOFFING experience.

That’s doable, right? I tried to be as realistic as possible but I know myself and sometimes I can be a bit *ahum* “overly ambitious” (euphemisms anyone?)

All this thinking about the future got me thinking about the future that’s even FURTHER away! I started thinking about where I wanted to be in 7 years and this is what I came up with…

7 YEAR GOAL

• PhD in (Biological) Anthropology
• Visit Asia, Africa, America & Antarctica
• Run a marathon
• Be a successful (freelance) journalist (includes blogging)

Has anyone else been dreaming of the future lately?

Love,

Tina

P.S. The next post will be all about Low Fat Raw Veganism (no, I didn’t forget ^^).

And a HAPPY NEW YEAR!

An unexpected bout of flu kept me away from my PC the last few weeks. How can that keep you away from the PC, you ask? Well, it’s the coughing really. I was coughing so violently (yes, you can cough violently) that my whole body was shaking and I kept hitting everything around me (I swear to you, I am not exaggerating). This made it very difficult for me to type.

But now that I’m not sick anymore, I’m making up for lost time.

And before I start, a big thank you to Janetha! Thanks for the card! I was so excited to get it in the mail

Mail from America!

So cute!

First off, I’d like to share with you my resolutions which are specifically meant for the blog. I’m going to add them somewhere on the blog, but I’m not sure yet where… Anyway:

I vow that I will keep my readers updated by:

• Twittering what I’m doing at least once a day
• Never letting more than 2 days pass without a new post.

And the reason I’m so sure I’ll be able to keep you updated so well from now on, is that I’ve got a new phone

I <3 SAMSUNG

 I plan on keeping this one in one piece (unlike it’s predecessor, which decided to break two days after I bought it). And I’ve got internet on it, so I’ll probably be twittering more than I ever thought I would. Anyone else have a touch screen? Those new phone’s are fun, man, I play on it all day long. I’m just like a little kid. I will use the navigation system when I know exactly where I am – because I can. I will take pictures of stuff I don’t need to take pictures of – because I can. And I will go online with my mobile phone EVEN when I’m sitting right in front of my PC – BECAUSE I CAN.

But enough about my useless phone-fun and onto the confession.

It is the time of year when we think about the future. It’s the beginning of the new year and we all have certain hopes and expectations for the year to come and inevitably, we will think of the past. And thinking of my past, especially the last year/year and a half reminded me of how far I’ve come.

Anyone who’s every had a blog knows that the most difficult part of starting up a blog is writing the “About Me”-section. Actually, anyone who’s ever had to write something about who they were, knows it’s not an easy thing to do.

Who are you?

What defines you?

What do you want people to know about you?

And usually, we answer the last question. We tend to leave out some things when we talk about ourselves, not because we want to lie, but because we don’t feel they really define who we are.

Before I had this blog, I had another one. It was a recovery blog. That is how I actually became acquainted with blogging, but at a certain point I wanted to forget all about having an eating disorder (ED), so I started this blog. I can pretend it never happened, but it’s something that I can’t erase from my past.

I remember all the girls in the blogging community who helped me. Because of them, I always had someone to go to when I was struggling. And I feel pretty being silent, as if I never had a problem. It’s not surprising that many people who’ve struggled with eating disorders have kept quiet about it, no one wants to be known as “that girl who had an eating disorder”. If we were to know about everyone who has struggled with eating at a certain point in their life, we’d be overwhelmed by the sheer number of people that this involves. I think that everyone knows at least one person who’s had an ED, whether that person has been open about it or not.

The worse part about this illness, is that it comes paired with the loneliest feeling in the whole world; you think that you’re the only one who thinks this way and that no one will ever understand you. There is a lot of shame surrounding ED’s, that’s why many never seek help. I know for a fact that if it wasn’t for those girls who spoke/blogged about their ED, I would have been in a much worse place than I am now. Because I read about people who struggled and got better, I knew that it was possible to get better. So in a way, talking about my recovery is a way to say thank you to all those who helped me…

I was never the healthiest person in the world. I wasn’t even interested in health. I knew I liked hamburgers, cake and ice cream, whether it was good for me or not, was besides the point. And I was never skinny either, but that didn’t bother me, because I figured that that was just how I was built. I didn’t lose or gain weight, I was always about the same until my grandmother passed away in December of 2007. It may seem strange that it bothered me because I only saw her once every four years (seeing as she lived in Bulgaria and I lived in Holland) but it was hard for me.

It seemed unfair that she had to die. She was one of the few relatives that I had left in the world. I really liked her and cherished all the time I had with her, while people who’s grandparents lived in the same village, complained about having to visit them and having to spend time with them. I was so angry and sad, but I couldn’t do anything about it. And on top of it all, it was just before Christmas. So we had to fly over to Bulgaria for the funeral and we weren’t able to get tickets to go home in time for Christmas. We had to spend Christmas in my late grandmother’s house, which is in itself very depressing. There was no way of escaping her memory there and that is when comfort eating took over. The whole of the holidays I was eating all of the things that she used to make for me.

By the time we finally got home I’d gained some weight but I didn’t really notice until I got some comments. From my parents and from friends. When I stepped on the scale I nearly had a stroke, I never thought I’d weigh that much. I had gained 7kg/15lbs since the last time I’d weighed myself and my BMI was close to overweight. So I decided to lose weight, though I didn’t do much. I just started eating breakfast and switched some of my dinners for soup. I didn’t even stop going to the McDonald’s (which was practically a weekly tradition for me). And within a month I was back to my old weight.

April '08

Meanwhile, I was noticing people around me were talking more about losing weight. And as we all know, girls have this  tendency to say bitchy things every now and then, so a few mean remarks were tossed around. But I was never really bothered by that. It wasn’t until April 2008 that I started thinking about losing more weight. I felt rejected by some of my friends, I had fights with my parents and I got a few bad grades (which was really disturbing, being the nerd that I am). I felt as though all these things were happening and I had no control over them and that made me angry. It started really subtly and I just started looking more at magazine’s that wrote about weight loss, I tried a few diets and lost some more weight and I felt good about myself. But none of it was quick enough so I started looking for other diets online, but every time they said you had to be patient, eat healthy and exercise. And I didn’t really care about that, I just wanted to lose weight quickly. So I started eating less and less, some days I didn’t eat at all, but I never kept it up for more than 3 days and after that I was so hungry that I ate everything in sight. So i didn’t lose too much weight. But it wasn’t before long that I found pro-ana sites.

I’ve placed a link to Wikipedia, it explains what those sites are, but a lot of people already know about them. To be quite honest, I was pretty disappointed at those sites, I thought that they would give  me some kind of secret diet that would make me lose weight more quickly without any trouble but even they didn’t have the answer. I was pretty active for a while on those sites, but I soon I gave them up too, because they didn’t help; I kept gaining back all the weight I lost because I couldn’t stick to it long enough. I was only busy with losing weight and school, those were my only priorities, so I wasn’t being very social. The only good thing I remember about that spring was doing the Model European Parliament.

May of ‘08 (I’m in the middle, black suit)

July 2008

In the summer of 2008 I went to a Summer Seminar in Bulgaria and I was prepared to have a lot of fun, I was going to forget about dieting for a while and continue when I came home. But my stomach had shrunk so much from fasting every other day that the first day that I started eating again I got really sick. I had stomach cramps during the whole summer, but it got better eventually. When I came back though I was determined to just keep losing weight.

I stopped hanging out with friends and just sat in my room all the time. I can still remember that I was playing with my calculator all the time working out my BMI, even though I knew exactly what it was. I averaged about 400 calories a day and I was too tired to exercise (which is pretty understandable) and I kept losing weight. I remember that around August, when I had just gotten back to school a couple of girls who I had never spoken to in school gave me a compliment. They asked me if I had lost weight and they said I looked good. I remember I was so happy to hear that, finally someone had noticed. I was a 4kg/9lbs lighter than before and I’d actually reached my first goal weight, but it wasn’t enough because my friends were still not being kind to me and my parents still didn’t understand me.

August 2008

For some reason, and I never understood how I’d made that connection in my mind, I thought that if I lost enough weight everyone would be nice to me, everyone would understand me and I’d have no problems. But things only went downhill from there.

Because of all the extracurricular activities that I had, I missed a lot of school, but when I was at school I felt as though people were gossiping about me. I didn’t understand why no one came to me, they just talked about me behind my back. No one came to ask me how I was doing or if I was okay, so I figured it couldn’t be about me being skinny, or else people would say something, wouldn’t they?

So I just kept up my habits and I kept losing weight.

By the end of September 2008

The last picture was taken for an interview that I had to give. I remember that I wasn’t even hungry at all then, so I ate even more sporadically. Around that time the proverbial “apple a day” was all I was eating. People who hadn’t seen me in a long time couldn’t believe it was me. I remember that I wasn’t really happy with this picture, because I had no idea my collar bones stuck out that much. I wanted to take another picture of myself to send for some speaking competition and I remember crying because I couldn’t take a single picture of myself without either my arms looking to bony or my face looking too tired.

By December of 2008 people weren’t just staring and gossiping anymore, they were actually making pretty mean comments about how skinny I was. And I remember exactly how I felt then: alone, sad and confused. I didn’t understand why people were being mean to me. I felt as if the whole world was turned upside down. Until now, I had convinced myself that if I only lost enough weight, everyone would be nice to me, but it seemed to have a reverse effect, everyone was being cruel. Making jokes about how I should eat more and that I was ugly.

Maybe somewhere in their minds they thought that if they insulted me enough it would help me, but it didn’t. It only made the situation worse, I felt so insecure that I didn’t dare to go outside anymore. I was so sad, that the only thing that (I thought) made me feel better was losing more weight. By that time I was under 45kg/100lbs and I just didn’t understand why I wasn’t happy. I felt confused and most of all screwed over. The only thing that had kept me going until then was the thought that I’d be happy if I was thin enough. And I was thin, that was for sure, so why wasn’t I happy? Why weren’t the people nice to me? Why weren’t all my problems gone?

Last year, around this time, I was so sad and so tired that I was ready to give up. I just wanted to quit, I didn’t have the strength to fight anymore. I barely had enough energy to get out of bed. I was crying because I didn’t understand why no one would help me. If I really had a problem, why didn’t my parents take me somewhere? But I realized that I was going to have to help myself, because I wouldn’t live very long if I waited for someone else to help me. So I started eating more and I started looking for help online, but I kept thinking that I didn’t need help yet. That they wouldn’t take me seriously because I wasn’t completely emaciated.

The trouble with getting help is that it’s never quick enough. I had to look for everything myself, but it took so long, all the bureaucracy and the waiting lists were ridiculous! Yes, they actually have waiting lists for people to get help for their eating disorders! I didn’t feel like people were taking me seriously and that hurt. On the one side people were telling me I was too skinny and on the other, no one was doing anything to help me. So I just started eating more, as much as I thought I needed, which was more than before, but not enough to get better. I was still tired and dizzy. I remember doing this competition in March 2009:

End of March 2009

All I could think of was “Don’t faint on stage, or you’ll look stupid”

During the time that I was looking for help online, I came across a few recovery blogs and they inspired me to start me own. And I can say for certain that keeping a blog was the best thing I ever did. People asked me how I was doing, responded to what I wrote, cared about how I was. If it wasn’t for them, I know I would have gone into a relapse and I don’t even want to think about what would  have happened then.

While recovering I became more interested about health and I came across raw foods, so I gave it a chance and I felt even better than I did before I had an ED. I actually had the energy to do sports and I felt happy. I gained the weight that I needed to gain and started focussing on other things in life. I started dealing with my problems instead of running away from them and losing weight as a way to cope with them.

It doesn’t mean that I didn’t struggle. Actually I spent the almost the whole year struggling, because it wasn’t easy. But I did my best. I see many girls who want to recover but never do because they can’t deal with the weight gain. They want to recover but they don’t want to gain weight. Unfortunately that’s just not how it works. I remember that I was really stressed out when I had to start to gain weight and especially when others noticed. The first few kilos were difficult, the doctor would say: “Hey, you gained another kilo, that’s good” and he’d smile in the most irritating way and all I’d want to do is smack him in the face! I can laugh about it now, but I sure wasn’t happy about it before.

Because of my choice to recover and my determination, I got to reap the fruits of my labour this summer. I was full of energy and I enjoyed everything I did. I went from a BMI of under 16 to 20 on my own, with only the help of the friends I’d made online and my motivation to be happy and healthy.

No more dieting

No more recluse

It was worth every kilogram I had to gain. Because I could finally smile again, independently of what the scale said or what other people said about me.

No more irrational fear of foods

I never had the greatest support system around me, so I had to build it myself, but I’m glad I did. I can only hope that other girls will do the same too, you can’t expect people to just help you, sometimes you have to find help for yourself.

But if there’s one thing I want people to know it’s that you should always ask. If you think someone has a problem, ask them how they’re doing, because they’re probably not going to tell you by themselves.

I was reading an article about a burn victim and she said something that felt really familiar:

“When I meet new people, I often think “Ask me about it (=burn scars)” because I’m not going to start out with: ‘So, I happen to be a burn victim…”

I felt exactly the same when I was at my lowest weight. I could feel everyone staring at me and whispering but no one would ever say anything to my face. It’s not like I was going to turn around to them and say: “Hey, you know what, I happen to be anorexic and yeah, that’s why I’m that skinny”

Only a handful of people took me aside and asked me “what’s going on?” And I don’t think I can express how happy I was that they asked me. Those people were there for me when I needed them and they showed me that they cared because they asked how I was doing instead of assuming whether I was fine or not.

But I’m glad that I’m over that part of my life now. It’s great to be able to focus on other things. And when I think of where I was last December compared to this December, I can’t believe it’s the same person.

Pre-prom Apple/Carrot/Ginger Juice

Though it certainly wasn’t an easy year, I’m glad I did what I did and that I’ve come as far as I have. Though it wasn’t the happiest time of my life, it has, without a doubt, made me stronger. Because of everything I’ve been through,

I’m set on making 2010 a year to remember!

Sunday mornings – usually you try to stay in bed as long as possible.

But when you are where I was – you want to be out of there asap. So I got up, packed up everything as fast as I could, dropped off my key at the reception and made my way to the train station.

I passed the lovely park/cemetery, walked through the centre and took a big whiff of the fresh cannabis-perfumed morning air and took the first train westward to Piccadilly.

Luckily, this trip could only go up from here. My mood was a million times better once I was with the people from my course. When I signed up for the TEFL course, I didn’t expect to learn so much in this weekend, but my teacher was amazing! For the first time in a long time, I felt like I was actually LEARNING something (and I go to school almost every day of the week – guess that doesn’t say much about my school…)

Today’s lunch was pretty much the main reason I’ve decided that I’m going to live in London someday (yes I’m that shallow): SAINSBURY’S SALAD BAR!!!

Why don’t why have salad bars in Dutch supermarkets?

I stuffed both of those plastic bowls to the max. Witnesses will also confirm that the mini-bowl, into which I stuffed my fruit salad, was so full that it actually wouldn’t close.

At the end of the day, my notepad was full and I was a bit tired, but I was a lot wiser. In two days, Annie (my teacher) had pumped my head full of teacher wisdom. I don’t want to say that I’m prepared to enter a class full of foreign students and enlighten them with my TEFL skills, but I know that it will be much easier for me to teach English next year after doing this course. I suddenly had even more respect for all teachers and professors. Because even though I knew how much of a pain irritating, lazy, pre-pubescent brats could be, I didn’t realize that teaching was so demanding EVEN if your students were quiet, dedicated and obedient. 

It was comforting in a way, to know that I wasn’t really crazy for wanting to travel the globe – there were more of my us. So I was somewhat sad to go and leave all of these great people behind, but I knew that each of us probably had their own adventure to embark on sooner or later. 

My TEFL class

Now all that was left was to find my THIRD hotel! Thank god, Becky (one of the girls from my class) helped me find it. So a shout out to Becky – you are an absolute darling for walking through the pouring rain with me to find my hotel!

I was going to go out for dinner but, as I mentioned, it was raining and I was tired so I went to good ol’ Sainsbury’s and got me some grub:

Dinner in Bed

Nothing beats a dinner in bed with a side of British humour courtesy of the BBC Channel.

The next day was truly a (raw) Foodie’s day in Paradise!

I went to Camden with Alastair and Camden is the promised land! I kid you not! I wish I had more than a day to see everything – there were so many cute little boutiques! They had everything; funny people screaming ‘taste this, taste that’ from their international food stands, but also vintage clothing, souvenirs and too much to mention really!

View Full Album

And then I also found this:

Argh, d'ya feel the awesomeness, matey?

One day, I’m going to own a pub and I’ll call it “The World’s End”, after fulfilling that dream, I can die in peace…

But back to the raw love…

InSpiral, aka Shangri-La, Utopia, Nirvana; was a dream. Words will not suffice, that is why we have pictures…

Raw Cheesecake

Raw Chocolate Cake

Banana Karma Smoothie

Salad (yes, I like beetroot…)

I could comment on each picture and say how it tasted, but really, how often do you want to read that it was divine, fabulous, sublime etc?

After lunch at InSpiral we walked around and I gawked and squealed at all the cute little dresses I came across, then we came back for ice cream…

And I’m not going to say anything, I’m just going to show show you this picture – that’s all

This has been my wallpaper since I returned from London – no, really…

I felt pretty bad that I didn’t take any pictures of Vitaorganic last time I was there… so I decided to make up for it!

Raw Carob Lime Pie

Raw Cheesecake

And one Orange Passion Energizer Smoothie!

Too full to eat salad, no matter how good it looked (I blame the raw pies!)

If you’re ever in London, take the tube to Leicester Square and get your butt over to Vitaorganic!

I miss it already…

The rest of the day was spent exploring even more of London.

I found out that Chinatown wasn’t just a place in New York, but also in London!

Going through those gates was like entering a parallel (Chinese) universe…

I scored some cheap gojiberries there! I’ve no idea how to use them whatsoever, but I did get them cheap, so I’m happy anyway.

They had the most beautiful kimonos there too! I briefly considered buying one and going to prom in a kimono, but then again, I don’t know how happy my mother would have been about that…

We shuffled around the city looking at everything and I managed to get a few “ooh’s” and “ah’s” in as well (I’m good at looking/sounding like a tourist – I wish I could make a profession out of it). And we randomly came across this place:

A vegan restaurant on wheels!

It was an old double-decker converted into a (travelling) vegan restaurant. By this point, neither Alastair, nor I were hungry, so we just had some tea but we totally felt the vegan vibes anyway

And that was pretty much the end of my time in London. It was late and I headed over to Stansted where I had my last little English treat before flying off to Holland. I stopped at the same juice bar I went to when I landed, because they simply have the best juices and smoothies!

Post-flight Apple/Wheatgrass Juice I had upon arrival in Stansted

Pre-flight Acai/Banana Smoothie before heading to Holland

Lovejuice – I <3 you…

Funnily enough, the same people who helped me when I landed were there this time and they remembered me. They even gave me a customer card! So if I’m ever in Stansted again, I know where I’m going – I’m set on getting all my stamps and earning a free juice/smoothie!

Now, I’m back in my room in Holland, wishing I was in London. But I know that, soon enough, I’ll be going there again. Now that I look back, I realize that it was actually my first fully independent travel. Nobody I knew came to pick me up, I had to figure out everything on my own and if there was a problem, there was no one to run to. But it turned out well, even more so – I loved it! I didn’t mind that there were a few bumps along the road, after all, “you’ve gotta take the bitter with the better.” It was like getting a taste of all the exciting things that are to come. I just have a short bit to go until graduation, then I’m done and off to see the world!

Adventure is only a few months away – I can smell it!

I had dinner at a Vitaorganic with my friend, Alastair, from GitMR, but I forgot to take pictures! Shame, shame, shame. But I went there again another day (with my camera), so you will see pictures. Anyway, it was great! I had an amazing salad with everything (sprouts, beets, 10 different types of lettuce I think…) and raw cake *drool* that was my first raw cake experience and man was it good! I had a blast there with m

I thought it would be VERY awkward to be in a room with 13 other people. I like my personal space and I DON’T like crowded rooms (this stems from a couple of traumatic experiences with 10+ girls in 1 room: THEY NEVER SHUT UP!).

But ironically, there were fewer people in my room (meant for 14) than in the rooms for 10 people. Probably because people falsely assumed that because there was room for 14, there’d actually be 14. So I got lucky and I turned out to only have 1 roommate!

It was this really cool guy, Demetrius, from Chicago and I’m always excited to meet people from The New World! I really got lucky, because he turned out to be such a cool person and we were both like “let’s do something” – though we didn’t exactly know what or where. So we headed out to town and this is what I saw:

And no, these aren’t blurry pics, it was my intention to make them look like that so that I could capture the busy, hectic feel of London… Okay, I just couldn’t shoot a sharp picture to save my own life – I still don’t get my camera.

We also went to the Pasaje del Terror and I swear to God it was creepy! It’s this kind of attraction where you walk through some scary halls and live actors try to scare the living daylights out of you (successfully, may I add). They say the actors won’t touch you and maybe they didn’t but they sure did get verrrry close to me – a little to close for comfort! But it was fun – for masochists like me who like to terrify themselves

Just thinking about it gives me the creeps…

I was pretty tired after that so I decided to go to sleep, I needed to wake up early the next day anyway. I woke up around 5 o’clock though to find that I suddenly had 3 more roommates. I guess sometimes people just randomly come into their rooms at night after their done partying – I thought it was funny. We started talking and I figured out 2 of the 3 were girls from Denmark. We had a pretty fun conversation but I never saw their faces because it was dark.

I got up at 6 to pack up everything, which was pretty difficult with only my mobile phone as a light (after all, it would be mean to turn on the lights, seeing as my roommates  had only gotten about 3 hours of sleep or less). But I managed anyway.

Breakfast was surprisingly good – loads of apples and bananas. Nobody likes ripe bananas so I helped myself to all the ripe bananas I liked. The whole building was some kind of old court house I think, because the breakfast room looked a whole lot like the court rooms I used to see on Ally McBeal. It turned out to be an okay hostel, after all.

I said goodbye to Demetrius and headed out.

The kind people of the reception also take pictures upon request

I’m glad I stayed at that hostel and I’m looking forward to staying in hostels next year – it really is a great way of meeting cool travellers.

Now, I just had to find the venue of my weekend course. Hehe, it’s a good thing I gave myself an hour to find it. Boy did I need it!

I got out at the right station, but I couldn’t find the hotel! I may have been a little distracted by the fact that this was Mayfair/ Piccadilly, aka uptown London (and also my favourite place on the Monopoly board).

I bet you they wouldn’t have kicked me out! Stupid Generator hostel… I'm still bitter

I loved the architecture!

After wandering around for a while and asking a few people on the streets – found it!

The first day of the course was great and very educational – not to mention that the other people there were such awesome people.

The course was no problem but by the end of the day, I realised that I needed to get to my hotel. So I called my mother, but apparently there had been a little miscommunication – she didn’t actually book the hotel, she just sent me the prices…

Great.

So I got a bit irritated. What was I supposed to do now? I had no place to stay that night. But she had found something – in Barking! Which was at the other end of London!

My mom figured it would be a good place because it was near where we used to live… TEN YEARS AGO! Well, that area changed in ten years; it changed a lot.

Barking is more or less the ghetto of London. And on top of that it was about an hour away from where I was!

I went anyway, but when I arrived at the station, I already had a bad feeling. The people there didn’t look extremely friendly or helpful so I thought I better not ask too much. I followed the main street, because apparently, it was supposed to be on the main street, only ten minutes away from the station – main street, my ass…

It was already 9pm by that time, so it was pitch dark AND RAINING and I was strolling around there – on my own, looking like a tourist. Creepy guys were passing saying “hey lady”, of course, I tried to ignore it best as I could but I was upset. I went to the nearest supermarket and asked for directions – but no one knew where the hotel was!

In the end, I got the number of the hotel and called them. They said I just needed to follow the main street until I got to the park. Parks at night, in towns that smell more like weed than Amsterdam does, are not places I like to be!

And they forgot to mention that the park was right next to a cemetery. And if there is one thing that I like less than parks, at night, in towns that smell more like weed than Amsterdam does – then it has to be parks, at night, in towns that smell more like weed than Amsterdam does NEXT TO CEMETERIES!

When I finally found the hotel, I was soaked, tired and pissed off. And to make things even worse – my phone’s battery was nearly dead. And just as I wanted to plug it in, I realised that UK plugs are different than European plugs. At that point all I could think was: “Just shoot me”. But I went down to the reception and they had some weird trick with which they could plug in my phone anyway, so I left it there and I turned it off because I was really angry at that point. I thought my mother had put me there on purpose. I thought she was being stubborn, thinking that the place we used to live TEN YEARS AGO would be a great place to put me – even though it was an hour away from the centre.  She probably called me a couple of times that night – but I was too angry to check.

All that rested now, was to comfort myself with food…

Salad number 1

Salad number 2

The people down at reception must have thought that I had some kind of rabbit with me or something. But no, it was all for me.

After two salads, a shower and a good night’s sleep I felt a lot better.

And the prospect of getting out of Barking did also work as a mood elevator, I suppose…

Next post: the last two days in London.